The past couple weeks have been really hard. Not just for me, for all my friends. I don’t like to complain, its not who I am anymore, but I really just feel that everything is sucking right now.
All my friends keep coming to me for advice and I don’t know what to do. How can I help them if I can’t help myself? I don’t think they understand that when I’m trying to get them to smile, get them out to do something, to distract them, i’m also trying to get away. Not from their problems. I can deal with their problems. But when I’m distracted, I don’t have to deal with everything all at once.
It just seems like now, every day seems to be a rollercoaster.
I wake up. The day starts off slow. Someone reminds me that they are unhappy for some reason, or I am unhappy. We find something fun to do, laughing and making plans for the future. And then we go right back to broken hearts.
It’s not going to be this way forever, right? I hope not.
I like making plans. I’m excited for Toronto next weekend, even if it is just me and Eden. And I’m excited for Panic! At the Disco with Latara.
But I don’t know what to do with myself until then. Can someone just let me be happy for once? One day of complete happiness is all I need.
